a multiplayer game of parenting and civilization building
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That was beautiful. I've been a lonely last son standing a few times today...I had a horse named Simon.
I wanted to share possibly the most disturbing way to learn about the new mushrooms update!
I knew they were there but in my last few plays since the update I had not seen or tried any, nor heard anyone mention them in-game.
I had pretty much forgotten about them, thinking they must be rare or whatever. So anyway, back IRL Australia it's almost shroomin' season so figure no harm in scraping the barrel of last years stash. Nice afternoon, coming down, think why not play some OHOL? (THAT GAME'S NOT TRAUMATIC). I log in.
My mother is already holding me.
"We on shroooooooooms baby!"
Oh lord.
My brain was not ready for shroomception. How did she know? My mother stands stock still with this shit eating grin on her face. There's a brief moment of peace and comfort and normality before everything gets fucked. I turn into a potato head, my mother is made of hair, I'm a well. We are both wells. My head is a shrunken peanut. There are mouflon hides on our feet. The only thing that is normal is the text and I can only type one letter.
This was almost more than my brain could comprehend. It wanted something normal, something predictable. This was not normal. Can't work out what's happening in the game and what's happening in my head.
This is a PSA, don't do OHOL shrooms on shrooms people.
I lived though, my ma went on to make some knives and try to get me to help her murder the village. If you're reading this mum, I was totally down for the role play, just too fried to do much other than water carrots this time. I hope your sloppy "I found a bear, come help me stab it" line worked eventually. xx
This should NOT be a game about mating and consent and all that nonsense---if you don't want to have a baby and some griefer male keeps following you around anyway, and then you have a baby against your will, what just happened? All that emotional baggage from the real world. That is not the point of this game, and it would distract from the 10,000-ft view of the human situation that I'm trying to construct here. I don't want to spawn Even and Adam together and then have Adam chasing Eve around while spam-chatting, "Come closer, honey."
Just wanted to chime in on consent. As long as 'full' females are more likely to have babies than 'hungry' ones (I deliberately stay hungry as a contraceptive) there's nothing stopping a 'griever male' or anyone else, from forcing phallic carrots into my face until a baby appears...."come closer honey."
Not saying it should change, obviously, it's a good mechanic. Just wanted to point out that food rape is a viable way to make babies if your town female is staying hungry because she selfishly wants to smith in peace.
I was raised in a busy village with lots of walls. I was fully clothed but my mother didn't show me around. I was starving and just old enough to eat, my mother didn't return and I begged my aunt to feed me. She did not and I died trying to find the farm.
I was born again! This time the child of my aunt. She showed me around and dressed me from the clothes scattered about my previous grave. I was determined to survive this time and start working on the farm.
But there were eight others already working so I went in search of jobs. There were six people making pies together and enough rabbits and fur and clothes and tools. I didn't know what to do! I started making a wall of graves around the perimeter wall and tidying each space. I was soon joined by a man my age. I confided in him my feelings of uselessness. This village has everything it needs! He told me to look for gold that we might craft crowns. He told me where to search and I filled my cart and set off.
I searched for many years and became an old man. In my travels I found no gold but I found a knife. My village had no weapons and I didn't wish to bring them in so as I returned home I stashed it in the bushes.
I lived out my last days pottering about the camp, tidying and fetching things for my fellow villagers. I died of old age.
I was born again, this village looks familiar! I was a girl this time. I started back at the farm (lots less people now so plenty to do) but noticed a man asking for a knife to kill sheep. He was given it under much suspicion and paraded about the camp not getting much done. The others questioned him. A second girl had a knife too. My mother took me out of earshot of the others and warned me to be careful of people with knives. I told her of the knife I hid in a previous life: did she want it? No, she replied. She hated knives. I worked some more but the couple walking around with weapons made me uneasy; I fetched my knife from its hiding place.
By the time I was a woman, a child ran by the farm screaming "killer!" I took out my knife and gave chase, it was the man from earlier. He killed two villagers before I killed him. I took his bloodied knife and put it in my pack. I was shaking so much I didn't have time to retrieve my own weapon before a young girl snatched it and ran. I followed after her but couldn't find her. I hoped she would not kill.
I returned to the farm where there was debate over seeding rows. I decided to make a seed patch away from camp. It was there in the outskirts that my first son was born. He ran away, and so did the brother born just after him. My third son stayed by my side. I named him Rupert. Back at the farm the little girl with my knife had grown up, she was trustworthy. We two would protect the village. I explained to Rupert what had befallen us. He understood, soon he was working alongside those of us that remained: my mother and three other women and their children.
Then a naked Eve covered in blood ran through, killed two of us and ran away. I tried to find her but could not. I ran up to the bakery with my knife out in search of the intruder. I think I scared the baker and her baby as they ran and I never saw them again. Then there were four.
I found the body of the marauding Eve by my seed patch, the knife amongst her bare bones. I took it to Rupert and he put it in his backpack. We needed wheat for the bakery but there was none. I was too old to make the trek for seed so Rupert volunteered. He packed his cart and stood in the farm as though to speak. And he stood... And stood. I realised something was wrong and as I tried to force a carrot into his mouth he collapsed in a pile of bones.
I took his knife and put it in my backpack. My cousin had a child. I explained to them that Rupert had set out for seed but had died. He must have gathered seed while I was busy though as she showed me three plots of freshly planted wheat. At least my son had not died in vain and there was hope for his family.
I'm Rupert! Squeaked my cousins son in broken letters. He had been reborn back into our village! I was so happy. But I was old. I told my cousin to take my knives and use them for protection. Rupert would have one when he was old enough. I left the rows of soil and died beside a milkweed flower. I was happy. But I had to try one more time...
My next mother was busy collecting in the forests when she had me. She picked me up and carried me back to her bakery. The bakery from my village! I could barely contain my excitement as she showed me around! I knew my way around this labyrinth town that had claimed my first life in confusion. I wished I had the letters to beg her to keep me alive. I needn't have worried, she raised me to a child and I ran for the farm, clothing myself as I went.
My cousin was still there. I got to work until I had gained enough speech to ask after Rupert. She told me he was still here and she still carried both my knives in her backpack. I was so happy! My cousin checked my identity and gave me and Rupert the knives so we could protect the village. We had so much of everything we were free to stand about the farm chatting. Picking carrots as they grew.
My mother raised some more children, including one girl. Soon it was just me and Rupert and the girl left. We made pies together, I was determined to stay close and to help raise any children she had, while Rupert tended the farm.
She had some children but they all died. Rupert said he had to leave and I once again took the knives and looked after the farm while I prayed my sister would bear more children.
I grew old and knew I must return the knives to their hiding place before I was too old to walk far. I hid them in the bushes and died of starvation before I could return home. I hope my sister had children and they carried on without me. If I ever return I will once again be ready to guard the city from invasion.
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