No Alexi, I will not pay my taxes.

Carrot-Seedling · 2019-08-03 22:38:26

I was born into the Dark family and had a really weird time. Let me explain.

When I was young I baked pies with bunnies and mutton. I made sheep jerky for fun and kept my dumb farming family alive. I turned 8 and started making bread.
I met this girl, Burak, and gave her one of my two matching shoes. She said "we are shoe siblings!" before she left. I think I saw her sometimes, but not a lot.

I made two loaves and chopped them up, and I had an idea. I took an old building by the bakery and made it my shop, spreading some ancient butter on my bread and trying to sell it for wheat. These two girls came and ate all my bread, and I had to abandon my pursuit.

I was wandering the berry field when I saw some traveler (thankfully one of the Darks) lose her horsey. I chased it with her an picked it up by a road in the rabbitlands. And I said:

"You better take this horse down the old town road
Or it'll ruuun till it can't no more"

She laughed, then left town. I don't think she came back, but her horse ran back through a big hole in the wall.

Soon after, the two ladies who busted my business ran to me, yelling "OI!" And I ran behind a maple, because they had knives. And they told me to... pay my child support?

"I'm not a father, ladies."
"Yeah, you are. We ate your bread."
"That doesn't mean I'm the father."
"You did something to the butter."
"And did you shove it up your own after???"
"Yes"
"Oh my maple."

I spent the rest of my life gathering berries in a bowl to eat behind my tree, as slowly another buyer of my bread and my niece started badgering me. My niece asked my leaderboard name, and I told her "Raidan Allcock." She asked my score and then went behind my tree and spammed the tree because of my super high 18 points (the rift thing tanked my score.)

My last years I was cursed by Alexi Dark, the orginal one to eat my breads, and I yelled this:

"I WILL NOT PAY CHILD SUPPORT"

---

Anyway, rift update was as bad as the server stress test in the beginning, but overall I think it's gotten better now. I like how we need to property fence our towns to keep randos from coming in with a sword.

Me: Sam Dark
Alexi, the first seeker of my tax dollars: Alexi Dark
Burak, the one I told Alexi was my wife and whose matching wood shoe I burned: Burak Dark

Morti · 2019-08-04 02:48:30

Horses are biome-shy creatures.
They will stay in the biome they are released, whether they are wild, tamed or have carts attached, so, whatever biome they find themselves, they will stick to.

If you get off them in a grassland, you will find them in grassland.
And they can only jump from one area of a biome to another area of the same biome if it is within, something like, 7 tiles, of a queen's moves, away from the biome in the location they are released.

Carrot-Seedling · 2019-08-04 03:37:12

By a road by the rabbitlands. My bad.

Yes, the biomelock feature is rather useful. Problem was, the whole town except for a strip of rabbitlands at the south border was green. So losing your horsie-wagon was a problem in our big town,

One Hour One Life Forums

#1 2019-08-03 22:38:26

No Alexi, I will not pay my taxes.

#2 2019-08-04 02:48:30

Re: No Alexi, I will not pay my taxes.

#3 2019-08-04 03:37:12

Re: No Alexi, I will not pay my taxes.

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