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Morti

Member

Registered: 2018-04-06

Posts: 1,323

A little trick I learned early in life.

That I didn't really learn, until today.

When I was in 5th grade, this fat kid in 6th grade invited me to chat about life, minds, and, well, magic powers, basically, but I didn't know it at the time.

While on the see saw, we did the usual up and down for awhile, while we were talking about... I don't know, what it means to be a person. What people are capable of?
What, our minds, are capable of. And then we stopped moving, as we found (he, really) found the balance between where he could shift his weight, though, I didn't know it at the time. In that moment, he told me to think, that I was heavier than him and that I could, actually, manipulate the see saw, into putting him up into the air, with my mind.

So, I did, and sure enough, he went up as I went down.

Felt pretty cool at the time. He said I was pretty good, and gave me a little, false, confidence boost. Then he said, "Now try to stop me from doing it." and slowly but surely, I went up as he went down. And that was when he laughed and said my mind wasn't as powerful as his was, but he reassured me I should keep practicing, and that some day, I too, could have the power he did.

Then we went to the swings to talk about, some tricks on the swing.

Years later, while I was learning about scales, fulcrums, and getting experience with actual balances in chemistry and physics classes, I realized just how sensitive they were when the two weights were nearly equal, and I brushed off what that kid did to me as a trick of physics.

But it wasn't just physics at work that day, it was psychology, as well. It was misunderstanding, misdirection and lies. This was a 12 year old, using his little bit of knowledge and experience with a simple piece of playground equipment, to try and one-up, an 11 year old. Why wasn't he just honest about what he knew was happening from his experience? He shifted his weight back on his end of the lever, pretending to me, that he was using his mind to, what, magically make me lighter, him heavier, or that he could use some kind of mysterious power?

For the vast majority of my life I have tried to be an honest person, even, it it meant I expressed my malicious feelings towards people I disliked, or, ideas, that people had, or practices, that they performed. I have been extremely cruel to some people, after having endured years of trying to be passive with them. I have nearly killed, more than 3, real people, because I let go, of my respect for their lives, in, just, dumb reactionary states of mind. And I am not a soldier. These were not times of war where murder is excusable, they were all people I cared for deeply, who I lived with, or who I was friend to.

We, need, to be taught to respect honesty. We should not be lying to children for amusement, or even, for the lesson of the lie, that we have been told the lie was told to us, for the sake of. Children who are lied to early in life, later go on to lie to others, if they feel it will benefit them. We should not lie to each other and we should especially not lie to ourselves.

--

This thought has come to me, after a lot of consideration, regarding things happening in this game, and on this message board.

Some of us value honesty, far more than others.

I find that people who deal with codes; programming computers, have a decent understanding as to why false information causes problems, though, it's not so often that I hear programmers, or, former programmers, open sourcing their wisdom, regarding truth, as it relates to human relationships, to cultural values, or to the future of biological lifeforms such as ourselves. The connection between how true values make machines work, and how true values make human beings work, is not drawn often enough.

My life, may not seem as valuable to some of you, as other people, who you consider each day, to a similar degree. But as long as we are honest to each other, about how we feel, we may begin to understand each other a little better, and be a little less, aggressive, towards each other, in every way we engage. Whether it is via the game, via this board, or via any other means.

It feels wrong, of me, to suspect any of you of employing lies or misdirection, to negatively influence anyone else's experience, anywhere.

I don't know what goes on in discord, besides what I hear from some of you about it. I don't know, any, of your most deeply held convictions. I am here, because I want to be here, for you all. No matter where you have come from, no matter what your, real life occupations are, no matter your stance. I have been considerably rude, to some of you, in-game, on this board and via other forms of communication, and I regret it. Things were said, actions, were taken, in-game, and we have suffered. Our potentially more fruitful relationships, have been impacted.

And I am sorry.

For the part I was responsible for, I am sorry.

I am sorry for the things I have done to you, that you know, but I am, perhaps, even more deeply sorry for the things I have said and done over the years, behind the cloak of anonymity. Now that that cloak is decaying like an old wolf hat, I suppose it could be seen as... what would be the word? Back-pedaling? Disingenuous? Shameful, even, perhaps? Interesting?? Whatever it may seem to a better wordsmith than I, it probably is, to a degree.

I am surely, by no means, the best person this game has ever seen, but I have done my best, to be honest with you all. Even when that meant that I disagreed, violently, with the ways you have engaged with me, with each other, or even, with your, use, of, certain mechanics, of this game, and how those uses, presumably influence, the people we play with.

"Just a game." aside, we may as well all be children in the same classroom together, with experience as the teacher. I feel that close, to some of you sometimes. Especially when we are standing within earshot of each other, in-game.

In-game, doesn't even feel right to say anymore, in this context. At least, not for me. I trust you understand. Online games, experiences, and media, are, replacing real engagements with people, with our bodies, with, being in the presence of the organs pumping and firing, that keep us alive. This is still the beginning, of the whole future of life's experience, with telecommunication. This, is more powerful, more, potentially impactful, than the loudest voice, shouting over the largest crowd of silent listeners. Though it hardly holds a candle, to the directed influence we can have on each other, when compared to a handshake, a kiss, or a hug.

--

When I first saw someone else's, two word, name in black, from one life to the next, that - "random" name that Jason likes to assign to peoples identities, via their IP or account info, I knew this was going to be bad. But no where near as bad for me as for many of the other players. Mountains, and mountains of people, have just been caged, from now, until the end. A valuable degree of freedom, has been abducted from the future of this game - for better and, for worse.

The possibility that you could, in one life, absolutely fall in love with someone playing a character, who, in a previous life, in two previous characters, you wanted everyone to curse, hate, despise and kill. I mean, the curse bullshit is already so ingrained in the game the vast majority of you have no qualms with it. Most of the readers of the forum today, probably have no clue it was ever, not, a part of the experience. It wasn't even, a consideration, for anyone, that such a thing would be necessary. So, rather than be given the chance to reason with people, behind the safety of the gun, of anonymity, we are no longer permitted to engage with them, to help them, see, outside, of the cave in which they have found themselves.

I want to be wrong. I want to imagine, that there is still a chance. Even though the mask is dropped, maybe some of you will still give each other a chance, to forget.

Let me just say right now - I want to be able to uncurse the people I have cursed, at least.

But even if that never becomes a thing, and, it will probably never become a thing, odds being what they are. We should still try to resolve, our differences, before, we end of victims of some vociferous asshole's shitty use of the word griefer, to describe everyone, and anyone, they dislike, and calls for others to curse them as well. Then we all lose a little bit of the chance, to meet a stranger, that, had that shitty asshole just, not eaten so many prunes, we may not have collectively condemned?

These thoughts and concerns, are weighing heavily on me. I need to post this now or, I may type too much and just close the tab before 'submitting' so, take this for what it is, take people, not just for who they are, but for the potential they have, to be greater, and maybe, chill out on the g word and the curses, less guilt imparts no weight, on your conscience.

Say what you want, while this is still a free cun'tree.

(yet another dumb thing I've said I'll surely regret later, but, oh well)

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Dodge

Member

Registered: 2018-08-27

Posts: 2,467

Re: A little trick I learned early in life.

This was a 12 year old, using his little bit of knowledge and experience with a simple piece of playground equipment, to try and one-up, an 11 year old. Why wasn't he just honest about what he knew was happening from his experience? He shifted his weight back on his end of the lever, pretending to me, that he was using his mind to, what, magically make me lighter, him heavier, or that he could use some kind of mysterious power?

A kid having fun and joking? What an evil little bastard...

The black name only lasts for 30 days iirc so you basically have a new chance to be a decent human being every month

Last edited by Dodge (2020-02-23 09:42:34)