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a multiplayer game of parenting and civilization building

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#1 2018-06-22 03:03:44

Tarr
Banned
Registered: 2018-03-31
Posts: 1,596

The girl(s) who played with pigs.

Seeing the new update I had to try to catch myself a new pig to show off to our little village.

My first life was a rather simple one. I exclaimed to my foster mother how cute little baby piglets were and I would bring one around for everyone to enjoy. I mostly sat around this life doing basic things until I was finally large enough to hunt down a boar to bring a piglet to town. There was a lot of awe from this little piglet running around in our village until I made the mistake of feeding the piglet. I learned a very valuable lesson when my cute little piglet grew into a rather huge boar. Domestic boars unlike mouflon hate having their heads pet. Within about two seconds of the excited "Piggy piggy pig." and varied amount of pets the boar gored me and my vision faded.

Lesson learned: Do not raise wild piglets in the middle of town.

The second life in this city was to a new mother who was out gathering various objects from the north. She had me follow her back to the familiar town where I had just accidentally released boarageddon. Thankfully the boar had its fill of people and decided to just stand still bobbing its head up and down chewing on the last unfortunate soul to cross its path. Another foolish child had brought a now second wild boar baby to the village in an attempt to bring piggies to our town. Being a regional expert on this I would accompany him to the goose pen where we would release piglet number two. Just like the first piglet it would grow into a rather unruly boar however this time we were ready... or so we thought. Once the piglet strayed from the mother my dear friend reached for the bow and arrow to put the beast down. The only thing dropping dead in this goose pen was him and me. Once he had been gored by the boar I attempted to reach for his bow only to end up in the same spot as him. We stumbled our way out of the pen just to die side by side trying to explain how to treat our wounds.

Lesson learned: Boar in a pen is a quicker end.

My third life in this city was much much shorter than the last two. I had explained to my mother from a young age how mean piggies were and how I kept seemingly catching them by the wrong end. She picked me up and took me over to the head bobbing boar and I knew finally I would be able to produce a little piglet to start growing actual pigs instead of murderous boars. I was only four years old when I headed back to the dreaded goose pen containing the rather angry mother boar. I would grab a bowl of corn kernels for her baby and tried to hide behind some geese for protection. It turns out geese like humans have no will to be in front of an angry boar. Just as soon as I had been delivered into this world I was gone again. The geese made the perfect opening for mama boar and I found myself in the familiar situation of being tusked in the gut. My little brother ended up holding me until I passed into oblivion once more by the little hair beast.

Lesson learned: Stop fucking with boars.

Ended up getting into that village on last time before quitting for the night. It turns out that someone else was able to properly raise a piglet from the boar so no longer did I have to put myself in harms way to get a real piglet. It turns out baby piglets are very heavy and will drop from your hands when they become adults. However (as of writing) fed piglets can be placed into a backpack and will proceed to grow into full blown adults while staying in the backpack. Unfortunately, these adult pigs cannot be placed down on the ground. A few of us villagers got some laughs out of my now pig infused hands. I survived about thirty years with pig hand syndrome, my freak accident bringing children and adults alike to feed me. However when food got scarce so did the willingness to feed a man with a pig for hands.

Lesson learned: Pigs are not supposed to go in backpacks.

Last edited by Tarr (2018-06-22 04:00:09)


fug it’s Tarr.

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#2 2018-06-22 04:52:01

YAHG
Member
Registered: 2018-04-06
Posts: 1,347

Re: The girl(s) who played with pigs.

Yeah pigs are good, but I don't think they belong in pens as they don't seem to steal our food like sheep do.

Geese are nice too, OMG so many eggs though


"be prepared and one person cant kill all city, if he can, then you deserve it"  -pein
https://kazetsukai.github.io/onetech/#
https://onehouronelife.com/forums/viewtopic.php?id=1438

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#3 2018-06-22 10:42:27

Feldspar
Member
From: New Zealand
Registered: 2018-04-28
Posts: 67

Re: The girl(s) who played with pigs.

Haha great story! Didn't realize catching pigs was so hard- now I'm really going to have to learn how to make tortillas!

YAHG wrote:

Yeah pigs are good, but I don't think they belong in pens as they don't seem to steal our food like sheep do.

Geese are nice too, OMG so many eggs though

Hmm I would still recommend keeping them in a pen- I just played a game as a chef where a pig was my greatest nemesis until I finally got the knife. It kept walking all over my cooking area when I was trying to organize things- and leaving dead pignets everywhere, which was a pain hmm


just here putting off doing my assignments

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#4 2024-01-27 10:08:40

Spoonwood
Member
Registered: 2019-02-06
Posts: 4,369

Re: The girl(s) who played with pigs.

Years later even, this was a fun read!

Do you recall Tarr if you were using Jason's client or Awbz mod?


Danish Clinch.
Longtime tutorial player.

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#5 2024-03-07 06:11:33

Shady100bands
Banned
Registered: 2024-03-07
Posts: 16

Re: The girl(s) who played with pigs.

sorry woops

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#6 2024-03-07 06:22:01

Shady100bands
Banned
Registered: 2024-03-07
Posts: 16

Re: The girl(s) who played with pigs.

also ima keep playing with pigs because when the entire nursery is killed the bones are funny.

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